Leave

I find myself in a crossroad and very much in love with a man who is the center of my world who I have I jail for I’ve got an award for I would take a bullet for without any hesitation second thought fortunately if Mom does not love me the way that him and i don’t know what his reasons are for not just walking away his actions and his words are night and day as I am sitting here AGAIN in this empty cold home not cold like in temperature but cold as in engery I catch myself waiting for you but I don’t want you to come Im torn inside but the side of me that is thinking more clearly and wisely is just hope that you stay away for at least till i stop waiting I’m ok to cry myself to sleep I can handle the melt downs and memories i strong enough to pick up the pieces but I can only push myself to do that if you stay away I don’t deserve to spend the last little bit of time I have left here on earth unhappy or mistreated my body will soon enough be in a casket I refuse to be in a cell or cage now I’m not your pet or door mate or punching bag I am the mother of your son the bitch that always has your back and the one who see you in a one of a kind light and I’m sick I’m dying and I’m scared I don’t know whats going to happen no does but I’m scared to not be with you I’m scared to be alone I don’t want lose or forget you my kids my family and ever day I head ” hurry up and die already go die somewhere ” that hurts more then a broken back or jaw more then having a baby kicked out of me and more then all the shavings combined if you feel such hate why won’t you go why won’t you let me die in peace why won’t you let me let you go

5 thoughts on “Leave

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