memory lane and reminder ave

There was a brief time that we were on our own living the grown up life just the two of us. That was how i loved it. We were living in a county hidden just in the lining of the surrounding mountains. The roommates that once filled the double wide mobile home had all separated and divided off into the own lifes. So we were left with a 2 bedroom 2 bathroom double wide mobile home on 2 lots a 2 car detached garage. The house also had 2 porches and a sun room. The sun room was my art studio and then was turned into a puppy room.

Right before we we the only ones there a friend had informed us about a litter of puppies that his room mate had and was trying to rehome. When the pups were about 6 weeks one early morning my friend and roommate cynthia and i went to pick out a puppy. There was like 6 or 7 i can’t really recall other than the few that sick out. The 1st puppy i saw and wanted was the smallest one a little brendal girl but when i tried to hold her she cried and ran back into the create with her mom so my next pick was another girl that was light brendal on the arms and back but white face as we we were leaving a little dark brindle boy followed i couldn’t get him so both came home with us. Mamas and papas were their names and they were a joy. Two puppies were fun and a lot of work especially since we already had bagheera. We got the puppies their shots and i made sure to deep scrub the house everyday to keep germs away. About two weeks had passed maybe three when we were back over visiting the friend who had blessed us with the puppies and saw there was still 2 puppies who had not yet found homes. In every way it was just more ideal and reasonable for us to take them home with us they were not thought of as anyone in particular pets but just awaiting either to be bought or given away. My boyfriend even though he was not a dog lover he also was not a dog hater and had a heart, so he agreed to let me bring them home. That is when bane and bella joined the family. Bane was the 1st born and the biggest. Bella oddly enough was the the little tiny runt i had wanted at 1st. When we got home the puppies were happy to be reunited bagheera not so happy but was not mean to them he just kind of short stayed cleared of them. We were doing a puppy a week for shots and almost to the last one that one being bella when out of nowhere the puppies started to get sick. I cleaned and cleaned and gave them water i wasn’t sure what was wrong then i saw the signs and i knew it was parvo. Sadly bella was the only one i thought was at risk since she did not have her shots but the other three did. I spent almost 2 weeks pumping fluids into them cleaning the house giving them electrolytes and vitamins . but all the time love and energy i put into their recovery sadly did not payoff and one by one they died. All except for that is BELLA! That time we had in the clearlake house was one of the both nicer and not so nicer times we have shared, but what made it stand out for me is that we had our own little spot well our own huge spot and it was nice to be able to call a house a home being that we have had severl homes in the form of a room or tent or car and even under a bridge but that was our 1st house .

When the base and foundaion of a structure is shit it does not matter how hard or long you work or how many people help if you use top of the line tools etc whatever you are building will eventualy fall down it will bukle and tumble maybe not 1st or it may even take a long time but youll know in the back of your head that it is just a matter of time before it comes crashing down

The house was owned by a friend of my father in law and spouse who has passed away and the daughter granted she was morning both her parents just let everything go down the drain.the water and power went off i still dont know how she expected us to pay rent and pay for utility blll that were left over from the group of friends that has recently jump ship.

I came home one day to a red tagged house and peper sprayed dogs who happen to be tied up there was no reason and the cops had no right to come on privet property and do that to my dogs as well as brake my windows. Ive never been able to express my feelings properly and i i i called my man melting down and yellng when he got home he was mad and he had every right to be. He snaped and hit me with a 2×4 and broke my back We once again were without a place and with two dogs and a broken back. Light a message from heaven my father in laws best friend came to take us to her property a town away. We use to fight a lot and we ended up getting kicked out (if by chance you read this nikki and victior from the bottom of my heart i am so sorry and thank you for all you tried to do for us.

We ended up staying at a friends for a while and bought a rv from her , but again our fighting got us into trouble and she ended up 1st kicking him out and i shortly followed him i didnt even say goodbye . we returned to sonoma county without a plan or place but like every other time we did have each other and that was all we needed to know it was going to be ok. The next few months we jumped back and forth between the yard of my in laws and the bridge down the street my man linked back up with an old friend and was able to get his old job back after a few months of hard work he was able to buy a car by that time we had moved back to fulton to my dear in laws who are gods angels on earth i want to take a moment to say somethings that i havent been able to say due to my anxiety lola and fred navarro i love you both so much and i can never repay you for all you have done from day one you both have been more grandparents then i ever had you are now and forever more my family thank you for taking me in thank you for putting up with mine and pjs none sence thank you for being understanding about my condion thank you for being the 1st people i saw when i woke up in the hospital thank you for wanting better for me and for pj thank you for being you . ok so now we were back at my in laws and my babe was working and had car and we were slowly crawling up out from the hole we had been in and then a sudden shake came when we lost my auntie just a few days before her birthday. It took everyone by suprize and left all of us really broken but like all sorrows there was a blessing hidden waiting for us to find it and her name was auntie v. auntie v is another angel and has just been a blessing we love you auntie v and thank you for all you do and are.i am so thankful to have met you and to have you in my life. We also got a chance to meet my aunties dad and sister and that was really cool it hurt having to be the ones to give them the news but from what im told everything happens for a reason so my the choice to just trust that instead of fighting it and trying to find out what the anwsers are im starting to accept that im not ment to know all the anwsers and that i will know all that i am ment to when the time for me to know is right. Its really a big step for me and its hard work but i know if i stick to the new habbiits that i have taken on i will get to a point where it comes easy and wont be such a hard task so even on the days when i am feeling frustrated and it hard to see the light at the end of the tunnle i push myself to meditate and visulize the life and all that i want i look deep inside myself for the feelings that would come with what i want and i do my best to feel them as if i am already living my dream so that i can bring it to me i dont know how long it will take but i do know now that everything i desire is already mine by divne right and that when i am ready and able to handle it i will recieve it knowing that gives me a feeling of excitement and i get butterflies in my tummy i know that this entery kinda went all over the place and if you got lost or if it upset anyone i understand and can empathize i am no different and there are so many times that i get upset with my mind and its scattered ways of working but then i have to remind myself that i was made the way i am by greater source and that i am a beautiful creation that took time and design and then i feel a little better and sometimes even a bit proud

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