just a little reflection on july 19th 2019

so i have been doing some much needed cleaning , deep deep deep deep deep cleaning i mean im not leaving any stone unturned i have gotten ride of lot of things. there was a free pile just down the road so i took boxes and bags and suitcases and bins filled of things that i dont use need and somethings i didnt even know that i had and its all gone im so happy that people could find use for all the things that were just getting in the way and now there is so much more room i mean i still have a long way to go and its going to take some time but its getting done little by little evey day the main thing that i want to do is to get ride of the big bed i have and put a smaller one in the bed i have now is just too big and there is no room to walk around i mean no room at all there are things i want to do to this place that will take much more time and money but for now the focus is on cleaning once that is done i can start the rebuilding on this and make it a custom fit home. i been writing and still at it with my studies i got a few different books going on and i been working on my social media pages posting here and there. i have also been looking at building lay outs for the cafe and for the rescue there are so many ideas and i love everything that i see it just makes it hard when its not my land so i cant and want to make too much of a mess or get in the way but i been doing what i can. i want to and need to host a crafts fair i need to make the money to be able to afford the supplies needed and with my ssn being sold from a young age its pretty clear that i am going to have to pay for all fees in getting this off the ground which is not going to be easy or fast but keeping in mind that everything happens for a reason im doing my best to not let that worry me to a point of giving up this is something i want bad and its been a dream of mine for so long when i think about all the lives that are in need of this even if they might now even know it or have ever even thought about it it makes me push aside any doubting feelings. i have made vision boards and put them up on my celling above my couch slash office area so that when im sitting there doing work or just chilling out i can enjoy looking up at them or like when im laying down reading or whatever have you. my gardan is going pretty well out of all the seeds and seedlings that were going i have about 8 clones that i started yesterday from lower branches of my bigger girls i started them between the end of march begging of april at one point there were about 50 of them but i have given them away to a few different people so along with the clones i now have 4 big girls who i have topped and lolipoped today july 19th 2019 so well see what happens next ive given them feeder and the bigger girls are in good size pots they are in a place where they get a good amount of sun and the pots make it easy to move the smallar ones around to follow the sun as much as they can i also have been spraying them down at night like on the leaves and they seem to like that so ill keep doing that for now it is going to be a late crop but i should make it before the winter one of the plants that a friend gifted a friend got stressed out and is now both male and female and i can understand why he is upset but i would like it cause of the seeds but i dont want to upset him by asking fr it hes pretty upset about the whole thing. but ah aways…… what else what else …… oh boy has it been hot out and from what the news says its going to be record breaking heat temps this summer im talking like in the hundreds and shit ok so like i spent all winter trying to lighten up my skin because i really really really want to be lighter and now thanks to this heat wave im burnt like as in am toast dark toast and i do not like it but i have to like pick between light skin on big healthy garden its a bummer but hopefuly ill be able to tune out the feelings of defeat to the battle with the sun with a big jucy sweet mouth watering harvest! im so excited this is my 1st time and i did it by seed well except for the clones but their moms are from seeds and i am the only grower involved so im pretty proud of that and im sorry but like i am a major stoner and can be a bit on the laszy side so right now i was passing by my girls and thought to count them ans offically there are 3 clones that are the size of seedlings 4 small girls and 2 big girls there are also 2 med size girls that were taken from in the ground and put into big pots that have lost all leaves and look a bit dry so i dont know if they are going to make it but im not giving up on them just yet so well see how they do im thinking that i am going to start checking in about their growth every 2 weeks or so i should have been keeping a log of it since the start but like i said this is my very 1st time and im not the most focused person on earth lol but i think im doing pretty good and im excited about the out come not just the smoke theough that is the main reason but to be able to say ” i did that ” ive help and done most of the care of other peoples crops but this is mine all mine and aside from youtube and advice from friend growers im doing this on my own… well i hope that when reading this post you are in good health high spirits and that you are on a high vibrational current untill next time blessid it.

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