if you could be anything other then what you are what would it be?

a tree would be too powerless and lonley i think. I would want to be big enough to be able to protect myself smart enough to be able to enjoy life but small enough to only be noticed if i wanted to be.. i have a hard time even making this choice i feel so outside of my skin but i cant even think of any other opion. this is so frusterating and i hate feeling like this what is the point of life if you dont know what you dont know or know what it is that you do know because you just dont know?…. my head is spinning and i feel like the ground under my feet is gone there is nothing to grab on to and no one around to help im alone in a sink hole and there is almost air yet i cant die so i stay stuck without opions without hope without ideas stranded between death and exsitence not able to fully go one way or the other not able to find peace not even truly knowing what peace is so therefor i really wouldnt even know if i did find it cause i wouldnt be know what it looks like so what is the point then? why am i still on this earth? is it a joke is it karma is it a punishment no matter what it is i just wish i could put a lable on it just know what to call it anything any lable would be better then nothing better then not knowing

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