i give thanks for for my best friend she is such a great person and so fucking saved my life and ass since i was left alone and pat is not helping me and he is just so cold and heartless pat really fucked me up he broke me but i am lucky enough to have people in my life that care about me and who give me the same amount of love that i give to them cathy has set up a place for me to take the trailer and all the animals can ok to go with me i am so happy and less stress but its far away from santa rosa and its a change i dont do good with change and i dont do good being alone and i am alone now i just cant understand how pat can be so cold to me its like to him i just dont exsits like i never happened he doesnt care about me he doesnt miss me he doesnt even think about me how can a person go from being with someone all day everyday to just like they and the time you spent with them never happened like it was nothing …. how can i be so broken and he is just so good why is my heart hurt and he is just living it up
why did i fall for someone who not only didnt and wouldnt but couldnt fall me back? is it karma? is it bad luck fate? is there a reason or purpose? was there ever a point? was it all a waste? will i ever know? do i need to know?