morning rant

have you lost a large gap of time? like so large that you feel like your in a limbo or dont even know if your alive or dead? have you ever a blackout that was longer then a few hours? day? weeks? how about years? i know it sounds crazy but that is what i am fighting with in my head it like i came to and its 7 years later im alone im confussed and to the truth im a bit scared its like the past 7 years were nothing more then a bad dream i cant see or touch the person i love and shared my world with they arent anywhere to be found he said i would never be in the dark place alone yet i am he promised to always find and come for me yet he isnt its like i never we never were where is he? and how could he just forget about me about all we were and had how can he not miss me is it possible to just stop loving someone over night? can you really just turn it off like a light switch if so how can i learn to do that i dont want to feel any of this anymore i dont want to miss him i dont want to love him i dont want to remeber i dont want to feel anything if i had one wish it would be to be numb like him to be hard as stone if i could cut my heart out and lock it away but still live omg duh like the queen on snow white well the one in once upon a time oooo fuck yea move over harley quinn theres a new fav villian lol well my head is starting to work ahead of my brain and i need to go do something before i melt into a pile of tears be back later

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