pat elliot

maybe its karma bad luck a sick joke or just cause i dont know and i dont know if ill ever know but what i do that i know if that i have done my share of fucking up my past relationships and i want to take a moment to say that i am sorry ” pat you more then anyone else aside from my kids i am so sorry for everything there is nothing that would ever make it ok make up for it or undo it i was wrong stupid and unworthy im broken and i dont know if ill ever be fixed but it is something i fight for everyday i am putting all of me everything i am and all that i have into doing what so many say cant be done to become what they say i cant im doing it for me my kids you anyone i care for and to keep it 100 BECAUSE THEY SAID IT COULDNT BE DONE ha i may be forced to exsits under their lable take they meds and live on a chain but i will NOT allow anyone to tell me who how or what i am and am not i do have a heart i dont live to hurt i dont want to be broken i want to be happy i want to make people i care for happy i want to be a good mom sister daughter wife friend ect i do not want to be a lonely angery broken zoned out lost sociopath

i want to be a part of the soluoions i want to help create care for and love the earth and its residents i know me better then any professinol no matter how many years of schooling come now im me and im the only one who hears my thoughts and feels my feelings i know i have a heart because i fight through the pain of it being broken everyday everytime i think about you or hear you inside of my head or someone says your name its like 1000 pins stabing throuth i can feel the hole where im sure a heart once lived strong and safe but now it hold the broken pieces all bursed and bleedy and beat down

i know i am heartbroken and that i miss you because your side of the bed is still called that because everyday at 5 pm wither im aware of it or not i listen out for you to pull up in the mornings i reach out to the empty side and i feel it start all over again…

you were the only person who tried who for and with me and i am so sorry i allow you to feel wrong im sorry

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.