update

its now feb 2020 and the silence between pat and i has yet to break, i saw him once at a friends house and it brought on a mix of feelings but i was able to walk away with dry eyes, im in a relationship with a man who ive had a deep connection with for a very long time and i can say without a doubt that i love him and i am happy but that doesnt change or take away from the fact that i spent 7 years with pat and have not only a son but a deep rooted history with him.

a part of me wishes that we could be friends or if nothing more be civil but he wont hear of it and thats something that i must respect and it gives me a chance to NOT TAKE THINGS PERSONALY

i have no control over how anyone thinks or feels about me and its not my burden to carry no person should be lucky enough to have the power to control my moods or emotions and that includes pat

i have many things in my life that i am doing to better myself and i am excited to reach my goals

school starts soon and starting today i am going to working out again

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