check in

down to 3 and 1/2 mos till baby gets here. this week a must do is get back into doctors i dont want to go to scihp for many reason but the only other baby doc i know and have gone to is one in ukiah called care for her i went there when i was carrying james and its a good center, the only issue is the whole car thing which is another thing i need to handle soon. the stress of the whole thing is really starting to crash down on me and i cant seem to get HIM to understand and i dont blame him i mean i get it unless you been through it nobody can really and fully understand i just hope that when its time he will trust me when i say i know what the fuck im talking about and that we will be able to go smoothly to wherever we are going to go to have baby. i pray because i cant lose another one i cant go through that pain again i will die and i cant allow myself to get blinded or put off this plan for any longer then i already have i need to get back on the right track because come july the days will be couting down untill baby is here,

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